Spoon time

Prior to joining the cheersquad in 2001 it was my belief the cheersquad was void of passion maybe that had something to do with the dark old days of losing, Maybe we just had the wrong people within the squad, Every second seat empty and in general not much happening. I was allways confused about this ,it's my reckoning we should allways have a little fun regardless of our on-field fortunes. I know for a fact that our cheersquad had become an inner sanctum a type of holy ground for those who believed the cheersquad was greater than the club andmost cheersquad people believed theywere the back bone of the club. How sorry i felt for these people. They had no sense of fun nor passion and did things for themselves, The word ' kids ' had no meaning to these people. It was a selfish group of people and things had to change.

Eddie McGuire into his Presidency onlya couple of seasons also believed changes had to be made, He called for all outer cheersquads to come together and become one, It was a McGuire masterstroke, I remember vividly getting an email from Frankie inviting me to a meeting at Victoria Park to sort things out and get the unofficial squad in with the official cheersquad. Back then i was pretty vocal and very much anti cheersquad, Basically because i was seeing what was going on and nothing had changed, It was the same mob that evicted me from the squad some fifteen years prior at Waverly Park. I had travelled to Waverly Park on my own and sat in the adjoining bay right next to the cheersquad. Just as the game started, it was a Collingwood Hawthorn game from memory a seat was vacant in the cheersquad an aisle way seat, i snuck across very much convinced no one had seen me, And here i wasamidst the Collingwood cheersquad until some smarty spotted me and became incensed that a non cheersquad member wanted to be a part of all the fun with the Collingwood cheersquad, I was verbally abused and told in no uncertain terms to leave the Collingwood cheersquad, I was not a Collingwood brother i was a criminal and treated like dirt.

It would be a moment i would never forget i was ashamed and felt dirty how could Collingwood people treat another comrade in this way, I must admit however in them days at Waverly Park the cheersquad was awesome in making noise i'll give them that.But as far as looking after their own they were light years away..one day i thought.. things must change. Several years later by accident, we formed what was known as the Collingwood unofficial cheersquad. Great bunch of passionate Collingwood people, Great memories and we had some times we still laugh about today. What a shame most of this group had become hurt by the inner politics when joining with me the Collingwood official cheersquad, many would walk away never to be seen again. These people would be a godsend today. But to be honest we were getting into too much strife we were giving our club a bad name, In those days opposition supporters would deliberately sit next to the cheersquad to take glee at Collingwood not winning a game, They were bad times and we all did it tough. However the opposition folkpeople bargained with the wrong bloke when targeting me. We were never far away from the official cheersquad, If some miserable no life opposition supporter took a swipe at me regarding Collingwoods on field fortunes it would be war and i mean war....It was an honour back in them days to stand up and defend our beloved Collingwood as it still is today. But experience and wisdomtells you there are better ways of getting even..In the name of fun and honest genuine passion we would get even and get even we would.

When reading Frankies email about all outer cheersquads coming togetheri genuinely believed it was a joke and replied with a very stern message. Several days later i recieved an email from great club person Nicki Malady confirming the same request. Back in them days Nicki was in the membership department, I liked Nicki she was a warm and genuine person and wanted the cheersquad thing to work without any problems...So it was agreed to round up all the unofficial guys and present ourselves to the meeting at Victoria Park with the Collingwood cheersquad..

From memory it was probably the first time i had ever spoken with Eddie, It was one of them typical overcast cloudy days in Melbourne, I had just crossed the Victoria Park footbridge from Victoria Park station heading across Lulie Street, I had always had a deep liking for Eddie from the day he walked into Collingwood and promised change..He very much spoke like one of us, His love for the Pies was clear and precise..he would make change and make Collingwood...collingwood again, He had my support from day one..Having just crossed Lulie street the phone would ring ' joffa! eddie Mcguire speaking here was the man with a heart very much like my own..we both loved Collingwood from a very early age, we were extremely passionate..Im sure that passion ensured many more phone calls over the next eight years, Let me give one example which at the time impressed me,,still does..and showed me this guy is an original. On Nicks Bulletin Board a fansite for Collingwood supporters, a topic was introduced about Eddie wanting the Grand Final Premiership cup called the ' Barassi McHale cup ' in recognition for our very own Jock McHale. It was a great suggestion..Jock Mc Hale should of been appointed as coach of the AFL team of the century..Not much chance of that ever happening when considering not one Collingwood player made it onto the team..making that team the biggest joke of all time, It was a smack in the face from the AFL to Collingwood..It hurt then and still hurts today to think that our champions and we had squillions of them were not considered worthy of such an honour was a joke and a complete farce.

* I liked Ed pretty much from day one, He bleeds Collingwood just like the rest of us.

I had repiled to the topic how about we introduce a medal for the winning Premiership Coach and call it the Jock McHale medallion, Eddie had taken the idea to the AFL and the AFL had approved, Eddie would call later with the news and invite to the press conference at Telstra Stadium ( another story we'll keep for another time ) Eddie could of run away and claimed the idea to be his, not that it would of bothered me too much, Eddie would bellow out at the press conference ' It's the joffa medal ' Those words and the invite to the press conference from eddie proved that this bloke was an original.I hope for Eddies sake he aint gonna go down as another ' Bad Luck ' president, 2002 should of been a flag to the Pies..Again we were totally ripped of by the umpires.

The phone call from Eddie was to the point..Get to the meeting and help make it happen, Eddie wanted the thing to work, The bringing of The Unofficial squad in with the official cheersquad had made sense and was up to all of us to play a part..It would be the beginning of something special. Ed had wished us the best...

The meeting was something that meant a lot to the club, David Emerson was present along with Nicki and Kerry Baptiste who would become the President of the newly formed cheersquad.The meeting was electronic and at times fiery, it took a good hour for both groups to trust one another, At times it may of looked out of control but both groups remained focused enough to realise it had to work.

Chants and passion would be discussed, We would make the new cheersquad the most passionate squad in the league ( something that we did and we did it easily ) I spoke from the heart, sometimes when i speak from the heart i offend people, I still believe some people from those early days most probably had wished i had been run over by a bus on the way home from the meeting..But i wasn't at the meeting to count the blades of grass out on the Victoria Park playing field, Myself and a couple of others had pledged unity, Others were still undecided, Some were still bitter, Many others like Frankie and Lesley would become life long family friends, Frankie was always supportive and qiuck to do anything i had wanted..a truly great Collingwood lady and dear friend.

I would come home appointed the chant leader of the newly formed cheersquad, I had come from villain to chant leader, It would be something i would take seriously, We would introduce new chants, I and others would lead with passion, The squad would never have empty seats again, 2002 and 2003 were great days for the Collingwood cheersquad, We were like a family, We would do things at the footy and away from the footy.But looking back we always seemed to have a small handful of people that seemed hell bent on destroying everything, It took a long time to comprehend and understand in how some people would operate..It would be an eye opener, Even more disturbingly these people would eventually get their own way and succeed in making like absolute hell for many many people..People who just wanted to cheer and bleed for the mighty maggies!

The Collingwood Cheersquad in action. People love to attack the Collingwood cheersquad most probably because we're Collingwood. But the fact remains the Collingwood cheersquad is the most talked about cheersquad in the competition, We are the loudest squad with the most passion, The Collingwood cheersquad with the magpie army at interstate games can do what no other supporters can do. In recent years we have ignited many stadiums with the long slow coll-ing-wood chant.We must be aware that the enemy looms after every Collingwood victory..The Imbiciles who detest being beaten by the Pies wll do and say anything. A word of advice to the imbiciles get ready for your worst nightmare, 2009 will herald a collingwood premiership and it will herald a new cheersquad that will chant and celebrate like never before.

The idea was born in front seat of a Maintenance van with Collingwood friend Neil, From memory it may of been the Tuesday before the Friday night clash..The spoon was made from an off-cut piece of wood over 6ft tall..The outline sketch was made and a hand saw did the rest, It was sanded down and ready to go..Believe me it looked a work of art. Two things came to mind we had to keep this thing quiet and we had to get it into the MCG..now that was the worry. For this thing to work it had to be somehow smuggled into the ' G ' without anyone noticing it..' Hello ' we're talking about a massive spoon over 6ft tall, we had to get out thinking caps on and come up with something pretty good.

I'm sure Eddie knew something was brewing, eddie an avid reader of Nicks Bulletin Board would of put two and two together, When the spoon came out Channel nine was onto it..Thank goodness for that, We now have this beautiful ocassion captured on film for everyone to enjoy..and didn't we stick it up em..You should of seen the looks on their faces, In them days the two cheersquads were seperated by no more then 50 meters..at the same end of the ground,It was an absolute joy..Very similar to the night when the Pies beat Brisbane at the MCG in that Friday night final..Did we unleash that night!!..Fair dinkum the Brisbane Lions supporters had well and truly crapped themselves.

The only way to get the spoon in was to smuggle the bugger in..no other way, we tried dressing it up as a person and hoped no-body would notice... but a spoon is a spoon nothing was going to hide that..must be another way!

We would arrange to get the spoon in via cheersquad equipment..The bag that would house the floggers would be our way of getting it in, We were assured the cheersquad baggage never got checked, Once in the ground the baggage would be taken to the cheersquad, We would then arrange twenty or so people to stand around me so no CCTV cameras could spy on what we were doing..The spoon would be taken to my seating and placed underneath and wait for it's gloroius entrance...But the spoon had one appointment before heading to the MCG, It had a place with the Magpie Army at the Cricketers Arms hotel in Punt road opposite the MCG..We would brandish the spoon we would have a drink with it, We would dance with it, some wags even tried having sex with the spoon..But more importantly we signed the spoon with hundreds of messages to the Carlton Football Club..One message would read ' Stick this up your arse Carlton ' The words Filth and Scum were prominent..it was a pre-match gathering of great joy and happiness, Back in them days the Magpie Army was a great brotherhood, i have never seen so much love and genuine friendship like that of the Cricketers Arms days..We would meet and just have fun together celebrating Collingwood.

Sadly the Cricketers Arms days would finish, I had given up the drink, The pre-match speeches had run it's race it was time to move on and do other things.I'll do a story soon on the Cricketers Arms during our two Grand Final appearances..so many wonderful memories.

So we toasted the spoon, no more messages could fit on it, If you look close at the pic above of me bringing out the spoon you can see all the black texts signings and messages, It would be arranged for the cheersquad folk bringing in the equipment to stop of at the Cricketers and pick up the spoon..The stage was ready so to speak..It was now time to stick it up the filth.

It was a Friday night game, The Pies were hot and becomming the new glamour force, whilst happily the filth were down the bottom with all sorts of problems not that we cared too much about thier problems anyway'

It was one of them games that Collingwood were never going to lose..We would trounce the enemy by a near record margin..I would sit their arguing with myself about the best time to bring it out ' show it off ' stick it up em. One had to get the timing right or it would be nothing a non event..It was decided to bring it out very early in the game..We wanted the Carlscum supporters to appreciate the moment as well..They have a track record of streaming out of games when getting convincingly beaten..So much for Carlton loylality..The carlton supporter is so much full of shit it aint funny!

The Gold jacket would go on along with the Gold tinsel wig..We would grab the spoon from underneath the seat walk along the aisle-way which was about some fifty meteres from the Carlton cheersquad and give it to em. The spoon would be waved about making sure that every Carlton cheersquad person witnessed it..Some would laugh, Some would tell me where to go, Some cheeky buggers would give me the bird..I'd simply wave the spoon and tell em all to go and get well and truly stuffed..I loved it so much when i got home with the spoon i had slept with it, I had even talked with it..I wouldn't have sex with it..although it probably would of been a ..nah i wont go there!

Channel 9 would capture the moment. To this day it's still well viewed on youtube..It was simply one of them ' pardon the pun ' Golden moments at the footy.

The spoon however was not finshed with yet during the week after the event it would tour suburbs, People would come out of shops to greet the spoon, wish it well, They would touch it, They would squeeze another message onto it..Before it would be taken to the Collingwood Football Club where it is being kept in the archives department.